Thursday, October 21, 2010

The Journey Begins

Best Friends....and a few biscuit crumbs

We got the test results today and I could have told you what the Doc was going to say. I've known for a few days - but I just didn't know how to let Mom in on it. I already told you guys - she's a weeper.

I have cancer. A whoopin' tumor in my lung...and it's spread throughout both my lungs. (At least I think I have 2 lungs - what do I know - I didn't go to Medical School). Anyways - it's zapping my energy, making it hard for me to breath - and the worse part - no appetite. Chemo is not really an option. We could try - but even the experts at AMC said it would not help - and the side effects would make me miserable with the little time I have left.

The Doc said it could be days - maybe a week or two. Mom made me promise to let her know when it's time. And I will. See I may be going - but I know I will be in Mom's heart forever. (I have that effect on people)

This is tough. I'm not done. I thought I'd have more time. I have a lot of lessons left to teach her. (Come on people, let's face it - we ALL know she's a work in progress) I've worked very hard these last 9 years. Teaching her that it's ok to have your heart broken - (although we both could have done without THAT particular lesson, Cowboy). I taught her that NYC is a great place to live. I taught her that when you think you're homesick for Washington, DC - maybe that just means you need to spend more time in Central Park. (Seriously - best place IN THE UNIVERSE). I taught her that you can find love - just look at me and Due. I also taught her that you can find love online (Ben - be still my heart). OK - fine. 2-timing your hometown love with an internet romance is wrong - IF YOU HAVE 2 LEGS - it's fine for 4 legged - or in Ben's case 3 legged). Seriously Mom - have you heard about - all the kids are doing it!

I didn't get around to all the lessons. Before I teach her how to say goodbye - I want to teach her that it's okay to love another golden girl. In fact I insist upon it. She has many more lessons to learn and I can't do it all myself. I'm sure Due will help - but he needs a golden girl too.

So although I fear I have made my last trip to Central Park - please don't feel sorry for me. It's been a great ride. I love my Mom - and she loves me. We have amazing friends. I got to cover the New Hampshire primary. I got to spend a month with Miss Sarah while Mom was in Denver for the DNCC. I have my own business. I get to have sleepovers at the boyfriends! I have a great bunch of care-givers* who look after me when Mom's out of town. I've been interviewed on television. And I have my own blog. HOW COOL IS THAT!

The photo above is from last night. Due came over to keep me comfy. AWWWW. We'll keep you posted. I'm going to start a series of posts called: "Abbey's Life Lessons". Someone's got to write them down so Mom doesn't forget!

So do me a favor....pups - hug your peeps. Peeps - hug your pups. LOVE - it's the most important feeling in the world....even when it seems to break your heart.


*To my special circle of care-givers - do me a favor and look after Mom when I take my journey. Make sure she finds her way back to our Park. Make sure she teaches "the little one" all about my favorite places - including the LAKE and the Bethesda Fountain!! And most importantly - make sure she teaches the little one the joys of
B A C O N !!!!!!!


Sheila and Bob said...

Abbey , you are so strong and so is your Mom.
We are proud to have you as one of our Golden family.
God Bless,

Hamish & Rescue Sophie

Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom said...

But Abbey -

It is not goodbye

It is bye fur now -

Just fur now -

Thanks fur sharing the news -

AND thanks fur sharing your heart along with it -

Khyra, Khousine Merdie, and Khousin Harley

♥I am Holly♥ said...

With tears flowing down my face, I'm trying to be brave. Abbey, I have loved you since I met you on your blog. There were days when I didn't leave a comment but I have followed you for quite some time. Tell your mom to give your a great big wonderful hug from me. Lots of love, Debbie

The Teacher's Pets said...

Oh no, Abbey! My eyes were watering while reading this post and I don't even know you pawsonally! I am soooo sorry about the cancer diagnosis and I think you have a very very brave and positive attitude about it which is amazing! You made the right decision to avoid chemo because it will make you feel very sick and weak and you don't need that to slow you down even further! I wish there was a cure for doggy cancer because no dog deserves to go through such a nasty disease! My thoughts are with you always....April

1000 Goldens said...

Abbey, we love you and we are so broken hearted we don't know what to say. Take care sweetheart and we will pray for your comfort.

Lola said...

Abbey, we are so sorry. For your Mom, of course. We know you'll be all right. It could have been a little longer run, but none of us know how long we have on this side of the bridge. It's hard for us to think about saying good-bye to you, too. We might never have met in person but we get to know each other differently out here and we take these things pretty hard. We are so glad we have gotten to know you, though, even though it hurts if we have to say good-bye for a while.

lots of love from Lola and Franklin and family,

JackDaddy said...

Even though I know they always come, they hurt every time.

And I just get mad at the world.

Pigtown-Design said...

Oh... Abbey dearest. I am so sad that Connor and I never had the chance to meet you. I adore your mum and I know I'd have loved you just as much. As I sit and type, I have tears in my eyes and will give Connor a huge hug when I am finished.

Go in peace and know that you were loved by all who met you and by many many more who just read about you.


Emma Rose said...

Oh Abbey,
You and your Mom are so brave. We love you and will keep you both in our prayers.

Emma Rose and the Duchess

Anonymous said...

Dear Abbey & your Mom,
My peeps & I are in a giant hug, sending you both prayers & love. The gift we have of each other here is but for a little while, but when we meet again on the other side it's furever. We hurt for your sadness, and pray for your comfort & peace. I was sent to my peeps by my guardian angel & predecessor, Spencer, to continue with their lessons and love them. He whispers in my ears alot, and helps me be good. He'll be waitin' for you at the bridge.
Meanwhile, comfort, peace and many, many hugs.
RileyRex & peeps

Sugar the Golden Retriever said...

Woof! Woof! Oh! Abbey ... we know its tough. Sending you and your mom lots of Golden LOVE, JOY n Comfort. Lots of Golden Woofs, Sugar

Tucker, Daisy and Leo said...

Oh Abbey

We are so sorry you didn't have better news. We can't wait to read your life lessons, we know you are so wise. In the meantime, we think you should persuade your mom to take you to Central Park as much as you want from now on, not just on Sundays. We are thinking of you and hoping your journey over the Rainbow Bridge is safe, til we meet on the other side.

Tucker, Daisy and mom Heidi

Wrigley said...

Abbey, you truly have a Golden heart and soul. We wish you and your mom both peace and comfort!

Wags N Kisses,

Two Pitties in the City said...

We are so sad to hear this, and I know this is something you never want to hear. You sound so strong, and we're so glad to have been able to follow your adventures through your blog.

Ben said...

Be still my heart - there are no
Ben and the Fellas

KT and Lady said...

Farewell sweet Abbey - you have been strong for your peeps and that is a lesson we can all benefit from. We are sad that another Golden has been taken from us by the evil C, but so happy that your life has been amazing and fulfilling for you and all your peeps. You know that was your calling. Bye fur now.

Kisses and belly rubs from KT and Lady

deborah said...

prayers for you and your mom..and please don't forget to let your mom know when its time...we don't want you to suffer. In tears, wish I could have known you, dear Abbey.

mythreepups said...

You are so brave and we've enjoyed reading about your adventures. Much love to you and comfort in the time ahead.

Scout 'n Freyja said...

Abbey, you have someone in northern MI that is loving you very hard, very hard. She has tears flowing and a heart breaking. Yes, she knows that there is a Circle of Life that calls all of us but she really isn't very good at saying good-bye. She gets all slobbery and sappy.

We will be here with you, Abbey, we will be right here and we will support you and your mom. And, one day we will see you again when it's time for all of us to complete the Circle of Life.

We look forward to learning your life lessons because we know that Goldens have so much to teach.

Samantha said...

Dearest Abbey,
Sierra Rose, our bestest friend, and Sugar told us that we must get to know you. And even tho we don't know you yet, Mom still has leaking going on. You have a tough Mama who my Ma could learn a lot from. We will be back to learn about those life lessons, cause we know they will be furry valuable.
Sending huge hugs and xoxoxoxoxo,
Sammie and Avalon

Sam said...

I'm so sorry. Mom is crying too - she is a weeper. She is sending hugs and prayers your way. Abbey, don't worry, your Mom has lots of friends out here and we will look after her and make sure she brings another golden in her life.

Sam, Monty, Christine and Aaron

TOBY PUPPY in SA said...

Hey there Abbey's mom...
I am popping by (from Mimi) to give you my warmest, loving wishes for this difficult journey ahead. It is a road that many of us have travelled, but to each of us is unique and heartbreaking.
If it's any encouragement, my 'Maxdog' was given 2 weeks with liver cancer and he went on to live another 107 "Days of Grace" before I decided to let him go...his blog (with all his own life lessons) has been left as a legacy for those who suffer like you.
This time ahead is definitely a time to 'seize the day'! I want to encourage you and to give you hope. The 'Life Lessons' are some of the most precious you will ever receive from your beloved Golden.
Most of all, 'Be gentle on yourself' and know that you are not alone. The blogging world will surround you with hope and love...I have experienced it myself.
Sending lotsaluv and (((Hugs)))to you,

Brooke said...

You and your mom are in my prayers!

Mogley G. Retriever said...

We have our paws crossed for you. Give your mom a few extra licks, they have to last a long time.

Have a safe journey, we will all join you on the other side.

Mogley G. Retriever

Anonymous said...

Abbey, Courage and his peeps send hugs and love for you and your family.

Courage and family

Elizabeth said...

Oh poor sweet Abey! :(

Elizabeth & Luna

YD, sometimes with ♥Samantha and ♥June said...

Dear Abbey,

You are a brave soul and kind as well. You are such a hero for thinking of your mom. Yes, humans are very soft like that. Our mom is weeping reading your post and she couldn't even finish reading it.
We agree with what Khyra said, it's just for now. We will all meet again in the near future.

Samantha & June

Sierra Rose said...

Oh Abbey, this was such a tender amazing entry. We have sweet smiles and very heavy hearts. We know that you will be sharing lots of hugs and whispers of forget-me-nots that will always live in the hearts of those that love you. Looking forward to your life lessons. Blessings.

Much love,
Sierra Rose & family

Ollie said...

Dear Abbey,
Thank you so much for sharing your adventures and taking us along with you to your beloved Central Park.
And yes, you certainly have an effect on people: you have made many hearts smile and now they ache for you and your mom.
How special you both are.
I am sending you lots of love, soft woofs and gentle licks.

Monica said...

Dear Abbey,
Bless your golden heart. I too have a golden Abby who teaches me all kinds of lessons about life and whom I love as much as I know your mom loves you. My heart is breaking for you and your mom. May your time left on earth be peaceful and full of much love, and may you run free in the wind as you cross the bridge.

I'm going to go give my Abby a belly rub right now in your honor.

Siku Marie, White Dog said...

Abbey, you are brave and beautiful and an inspiration. We ALL can learn from your lessons. When it is time we hope you will feel the circle of paws lovingly around you--your friends, family, those who love you, and that the crossing will be free of pain and blessed with quiet dignity. My human sends her heartfelt energies to your mom to be strong even though her world is being torn apart.

Jan's Funny Farm said...

Abbey, you sound like a very loving and caring girl. We hate to say hello and farewell almost in the same breath, but we're glad we heard of you over at Ben's. It's great to meet you.

Curt Rogers said...

Abbey, may your journey be peaceful and as beautiful as your spirit. Your mother will miss you but she is well-loved and will be taken care of. Please, when you cross the bridge, send a star across the sky for your mom loved ones to see. That way we'll know you're smiling and running and waiting for us on the other side.

Anonymous said...

I'm balling. If I had known this would happen, I would have pet you even when you rolled in dead squirrel.

Sam said...

Oh no Abbey, you are a very brave Golden! Rugby send you a great big hug. Be sure to make the most our of this time. We will keep thinking of you and sending good vibes.


the booker man said...

miss abbey,
it's been a super hooge honorment to call you my friend! you are so full of the positives and braveness! me and asa and mama are sad that you are gonna have to leave your mama and all of us soon, but miss khyra is right. it's just a bye bye for now. we love you so very much! i hope you can feel the ginormous huggles and gooey nose kisses that we are sending to you and your mama right at this very second.

the booker man

The Matters of Style Girls said...

Oh my goodness. I am so sorry for what you and Abbey are going through. What a gracious post you put together in such a challenging time. As a pet lover/fanatic I am keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers!